When Life Isn't Fair

As we travel through life there are a few truths that become evident or at least should. One is that life isn’t fair – it never has been and never will be and if someone told you it was then they lied.

There will always be less talented, less qualified individuals that get ahead of those who are better suited. Perhaps the ones getting ahead know someone or the person has something appealing in personality or looks that the more qualified person doesn’t. As well there will always be nepotism and favouritism wherever people are involved.

This does not mean that those without the connections, the outer beauty and/or the special knack for pleasing others should give up. It also doesn’t mean that it is always one of the above-mentioned factors that leads to one person getting ahead instead of the more qualified. Maybe the more qualified person just isn’t right for that upper position.

Yet complaining about how unfair everything is, how your life should have turned out better or how you did everything you should and therefore your life shouldn’t be like this is useless. Especially if you are complaining to someone who has suffered as well and may have taken some harder knocks than you.

We all make decisions about where we want to be in life and how to get there. Some turn out the way we want but many don’t. Ask a lot of adults if their life has turned out the way they had planned and most will say it hasn’t. Occasionally it does but that is rare. However that doesn’t mean that the life turned out bad.

The young woman who wanted to grow up, get married and have a house full of children looks at the calendar and realizes she is almost forty and nothing has happened the way she wanted. However she has fallen in love and she is pregnant. She isn’t legally married but that is fine. She has someone who loves her and a child on the way. Her journey to get to this point isn’t what she imagined yet it is satisfying. She is getting what she wanted in a different way.

It may be difficult at first when you are passed up for a promotion you feel you richly deserve, when you are diagnosed with a chronic illness that will severely change the course of your future, when a marriage that you are putting everything into is falling apart and for a short time it is natural to be depressed and to experience feelings like self pity. But don’t hold onto that negativity for too long or it will have long lasting, harmful effects on your life. Instead reassess where you are in life, where you want to be and how you are going to get there. You may find that what you once considered to be the most damaging occurrence in your life is actually turning out to be a positive and life affirming experience.

TAGS:motiviation, Karen Magill,life lessons,fairness,life affirming,self pity,qualify